Competition

Highly Commended

FIDO
by Cavan Sibson

Long turned seventy, my back stooped,
Got a permanent case of brewer’s droop.
The missus, looking for some thrills,
Sent me to the Doc for some Viagra pills.

My back straightened, I became alert,
Then started chasing all things in skirts.
The Missus screamed out in wild despair,
When she observed me chasing a coursing hare.

It was a year since Fido had won a race,
He justkept on taking up kennel space.
I reckoned these pills would make him go,
And once again he could earn some dough.

I hid some of those pills in sugar jubes,
To put in Fido’s mouth before his race was due.
Just after I popped one down old Fido’s throat,
Up came the Chief Steward, a mangey old goat.

I offered him a lolly straight from the box,
The thieving old scoundrel grabbed the lot,
Along with his assistants, one short and one tall,
My Viagra was devoured, none left at all.

The boxes flew open on a track rated dead,
Fido rocketed to the front going further ahead.
The race was all over in twenty – nine five oh,
We broke all records collecting our dough.

Victorious old Fido got whacked hard on the head,
For falling deeply in love with the swab Vet’s leg.

Called in by the Stewards to pay my respects,
I saw an amazing sight I will never forget.

On the Chief Stewards lap, in his fine leather chair,
The Tea Lady was sitting, kind of in mid-air,
His deputies were gazing, longingly, into each others eyes,
I had always wondered about those two guys.

We pulled up at home and Fido jumped out,
Charging up the street, he was out and about.
The missus turned into a real honey,
After, of course, she had counted her money.

After months of pondering I finally concludes,
The Steward guys desperately needed my jubes.
And we tell all the folks from here to Bourke,
That blessed Viagra --- really does work.