Competition

Highly Commended

Uncle Herbie's Truck
by Reeve McLennan

Uncle Herbie wasn't feeling well,
And getting on in years.
Which didn't stunt his will to smoke
Or sink a dozen beers.

It never was the best of times
To hear him wheeze and coughin',
But we all loved him just the same
And went to see him often.

'Twas on one of these occasions
He was told by Cousin Stan;
"If there's something we can do to help
We'll do it if we can."

Uncle Herbie thought a while and said,
"I know you boys is good,
And I really would be grateful
If you went to fetch some wood."
"For winter's comin' quickly,
And it's nippy in the morn,
And I know you blokes would like
To see your Uncle Herbie warm."

"Yeah, righto Uncle Herb" We said,
We'll get on it right away."
So he let us use his Bedford truck
and chainsaw for the day.

How much the old bloke loved that truck,
He'd told us all before.
"Now just you lads be careful!"
Uncle Herb yelled out the door.

"I ran a paper route for twenty years
Out in the snow.
To save enough to buy that truck,
I'll have you fellers know!"

"Now don't go over forty,
'cause it tends to get the shakes,
And you'll have to double clutch a bit,
And also pump the brakes."

"Yeah, righto," Uncle Herb we said,
With youthfulness and zeal.
So off we set right then
With Cousin Roy behind the wheel.

The air that day was crisp and fresh.
Conditions they were good.
So we went to the top paddock which
We knew had plenty wood.

Now there were lots of dead old trees
A layin' all around.
But we were young and so of course
We had to cut one down.

"This peppermint looks good," said Stan,
Whilst checking out the breeze.
"I’ll lay it down right here,
So fellers stand back if you please."

Like some ancient warlord's horn
Inviting Saxons to the fray
The roar of Herbie's chainsaw
Shook the glades that very day.
Startled birds took flight,
And distant cattle looked to see.
As cousin Stan was halfway through
Dismembering that tree.

Now as a safety measure,
Whilst our Stan went for the kill.
I took the truck and parked it
Way back further up the hill.

But then I heard the chainsaw stop,
As I was heading down.
And Stan despaired, "I'm stuck!
Aren't the wedges somewhere 'round?"

No sooner was I in the truck,
To get the wedges when.
Stan had somehow freed himself
And fired up again.

In frustration from the effort I'd just spent
I slammed the door.
And dejectedly trudged down the hill
To join the fray once more.

The repercussions of my violence,
Only now became more clear.
As the truck soon sped on by me!
It had jumped clean out of gear!

It was heading straight for Stan.
I'm yelling; "Look out for the truck!"
Then it hit a rock and swerved a bit,
I thought we were in luck.

But pretty soon I realised,
That the tree was dropping fast.
And was surely gunna land
Just as the truck was going past!

What could I do? What could I do?
I waved my arms and yelled.
But not a soul could hear me
As the tree was being felled.

I stood there watching helpless,
It was more than I could bear.
As the truck and tree were introduced
And violence shook the air.

The truck almost escaped the crash,
It nearly got away.
But the tree came crashing down
And hit the back end of the tray.

No one could re-enact that scene,
No matter what their skill.
As the truck was cannoned up then down,
Then sped off down the hill.

We stood there watching mutely.
No one found the words to speak.
As the Bedford gained momentum
And was heading for the creek!

If there was a fence, a ditch or tree,
Its path could have been halted.
There only was a dozen cows,
(And they had quickly bolted).

We prayed and crossed our fingers,
But our hopes they quickly sank.
As the Bedford reached the creek and
Disappeared over the bank!

The blissful trout a swimming,
In that creek were shook I bet.
And since then (it is no surprise)
We haven't caught one yet.

And how could we tell the old bloke,
"Uncle Herb, we let you down."
At least we had some time to think,
Whilst walking back to town.

And I guess we'll never know,
(Because there are conflicting views).
But it's possible that Herbie's death
Was brought on by the news.

For he died the day thereafter
But we're sure he is amused.
To look on down below and see
His truck's still being used.

For when we go down to the creek,
We like to climb up on it.
'cause we can sunbake on the roof
And dive in off the bonnet.

So the incident's considered now,
A brilliant piece of luck.
'cause finally, we get some use,
From Uncle Herbie's truck!