Competition
Judges' Report on the 2008 Winners
River 94.9 Award - 5-6 Years
1st Place: I am a Ballerina by Ellie Bradford
Very visual. Good choice of words. True to form the whole way through. Very well done.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
2nd Place: My Chooks by Zack McAlpine
Captures the essence of chickens. Great last line. Very clever.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
3rd Place: Nature by Harvey Brown
Using senses – all senses. Captures nature.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
Highly Commended: Kangaroos by Elsie Salkeld
Has the general idea of “rhyming” and it is carried on throughout the poem.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
Ipswich District Teacher-Librarian Network Award - 7-9 Years
1st Place: Winning by Tahniae Hale-Reeve
Very clever. Captures “winning”. Great visual. Words perfect.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
2nd Place: Colours of the Sun by Samuel Cujes
Choice of words and images is excellent. Great last line. Three verses. Very visual.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
3rd Place: Australian Babies by Megan Humphreys
Three verses – great format. Each verse an animal. Lovely imagery.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
Just Blinds & Shutters Award - 10-12 Years
1st Place: Write Forever by Molly Jackson
Inspiring. All can relate to it. Writing for the love of it, and for self. Stayed in form.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
2nd Place: Inside the Fridge by Molly Jackson
Fabulous punch line – makes the poem!
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
3rd Place: Moments in Time by Boyd Tarlinton
Great sense of time.
Megan Daley & Lorrie Jarrett.
The Queensland Times Award - 13-15 Years
1st Place: Salty Memories by Kirsty McCormack
This is a long poem that is captivating and sophisticated in its language and narrative. The poet describes in an imaginative way, the memories of a time spent at the beach, and how the passing years have changed the landscape. The poem contains some very original descriptions and powerful images.
David Gagan
2nd Place: Bottled Lie by Clara Fannjiang
This is a very original poem containing amazing images and runs of language. Very sophisticated use of language is used as the poet describes the sound and taste of a fizzy drink and then connects this image to the connection between 2 people, and the strange possessive nature of the relationship. A truly amazing and original piece of writing.
David Gagan
3rd Place: The Knot by Violet Macdonald
This is a short poem about the death of a friend that captures intense emotion with just few carefully chosen words. The power of the poem lies in its sparse use of language to create such intense impact.
David Gagan
Ipswich Waste Services Award - 16-17 Years
1st Place: I've Heard it Hundreds Times by Dhaniel Gautama
The poem is evocative and imaginatively written. It has a strong emotional dimension as the writer describes from an indigenous perspective, a sense of alienation and dislocation. The poem looks back to the past but also has a strong sense of hope for the future. A very original piece.
David Gagan
2nd Place: Oppression of the Night by Anthony Khoo
This poem contains wonderful use of language, imagery and rhythm. The poet describes the night as it “silently smothers and sighs”, and connects this to the darkness in our souls, hearts and minds. A very mature and sophisticated poem.
David Gagan
3rd Place: At First by Jessica Wood
This a collection or suite of short poems that contains interesting rhythm and a strong emotional connection. The poem describes the relationships within a family faced with illness. This was a very brave attempt at capturing the emotions of the situation.
David Gagan
The Ipswich City Council Award - Open Age Bush Poetry
1st Place: The Photograph by David Campbell
This poet demonstrates an excellent understanding of consistent metre and accurate rhyme. The reflective mood he introduces is relevant to the details being explained and the pathos is heightened in the concluding stanzas. For this reader the poet generates a “wow” factor.
Noel Stallard
2nd Place: Magnificent Seven by Max Merckenschlager
This writer is a craftsman with words, metre and rhyme. The poet’s forceful imagery has us see the team of work horses in a way not viewed before. The pathos associated with the inevitable aging of “the friends” is vividly conveyed by the poet. Excellent.
Noel Stallard
3rd Place: Of Men and Rats by Ron Stevens
Again the writer shows a good understanding of metre and rhyme. The humour is clever and enjoyable. The use of “golf” as a problem in the opening stanza and its portent in the final stanza is indicative of the planned structure of this poet. Very enjoyable.
Noel Stallard
Highly Commended: Graystar by Graeme Johnson
Generally the poet used consistent metre and accurate rhyme. Needed more variation at the beginning of verses. Some strong imagery.
Noel Stallard
Highly Commended: Rust & Rivets by Graeme Johnson
The poet shows an understanding of metre and rhyme. The longer the poem, the more skill needed to hold the reader’s attention.
Noel Stallard
Highly Commended: Silver Moon by Zondrae King
Some forceful imagery here. Introduces an appropriate mood for the imagery described and sustains this throughout.
Noel Stallard
Highly Commended: Egg-onomics by Brenda Joy
Some weakness with metre. Develops an interesting story line with a reasonable degree of suspense. Finish could be stronger.
Noel Stallard
Joy Chambers & Reg Grundy Award - Open Age Other Poetry
1st Place: 25 words or less by Lyrian Fleming
This is a poem that stood out from all other entries. The voice here experiments with language, throws off the contraints of traditional structure and delivers a poem, brimming with social consciousness. A poem to excite!
Graham Nunn
Experimental and edgy solo lines underpinned by beautifully disjointed and original structure. Brave/fresh writing and sense of freedom in work. Unlike any other entry in competition. Ghosts of Barbarian Poets of San Francisco or Laurie Anderson. Love to hear it performed.
David Stavanger
2nd Place: Farm by Ashley Capes
Imagery that excited the senses. . . “in the horse’s mouth even straw sleeps” is a line that will stay with me forever.
Graham Nunn
Effectively creates rhythm of farm in new ways; “in the horse’s mouth even straw sleeps” best line of any entry and evocative/striking image. Concise use of language and metaphor throughout. 1st line lets piece down a little. Very strong piece of work.
David Stavanger
3rd Place: The Mariner by John Egan
The language here is beautifully compressed. Not a word out of place. It beckons the reader to revisit the journey, so beautifully created by the poet’s words.
Graham Nunn
Great last two lines and builds to this point. Strong title/subject; classical feel contrasted against close (first lines) to piece. Great movement throughout and manages too avoid too many clichés related to the subject. WELL DONE!
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: Rendering by Marjorie Lewis-Jones
Very strong opening. Loved the image of skin bandaged to bones.
Graham Nunn
Some good word-play; good language “sounds” throughout.
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: Occasions of Birds by Mark Miller
A wonderful sequence of haiku. . . loved the haiku beginning “Spring shower”. Classic Australian imagery.
Graham Nunn
Effective and at times beautiful sensory nature haikus.
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: The Hollow Men by David Campbell
Dense and brooding. Enjoyed how the poet has played with form and structure.
Graham Nunn
Vivid street images; unique form; but too long. Needs editing.
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: Shapes in the Weather by Vanessa Page
Wonderful opening verse. Enjoyed the ending and the sense of something just out of reach.
Graham Nunn
First line really draws reader in, but then not enough concrete language.
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: Reading Letters to the Editor by Stephen Paice
Wonderfully playful. Some unique imagery throughout this piece.
Graham Nunn
Unique response piece; good opening stanza.
David Stavanger
Rosewood Green Award - Open Age Local Poetry
1st Place: Fionnuala by Caitlin Prouatt
A delicate and finely tuned poem that captures the weightlessness of flight. Beautifully realised. A clear winner!
Graham Nunn
Great economy of language/image. Lots of space in this piece for “breath” = matures subject/intent. Sensory/intriguing title suits. Great close to short journey. Love word “velveteen” hanging on its own. Well done!
David Stavanger
2nd Place: Paper- Scrap Hope by Caitlin Prouatt
A fresh take on relationships and the way emotions gather. A strong narrative throughout the piece provides structure.
Graham Nunn
Intriguing first line “He lives in a zoo”; strung third person call x response narrative sustained for most of the piece but too long. Needs some editing. Third and fifth stanzas particularly strong. Well done!
David Stavanger
3rd Place: Wicker Basket by Kirsty McCormack
Tight and powerful. The closing lines bring this poem to an unexpected climax. A fresh voice on a familiar subject.
Graham Nunn
Original personal take on pregnancy. Interesting experimentation with shape/structure. Vivid imagery throughout.
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: Winter in Ipswich by Robert Bos
Great sense of humour present here. Particularly enjoyed the last two lines.
Graham Nunn
Effective short poem, just a little forced in some lines eg. language.
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: Memory by Robert Bos
Enjoyed the way the poet tied the imagery of the ocean to memory.
Graham Nunn
Short/immediate nature piece, but watch use of abstract concepts eg. “consciousness”
David Stavanger
Highly Commended: To a Friend by Caitlin Prouatt
An infectious sense of joy and hope, kept bringing me back to this poem.
Graham Nunn
Very strong opening line and imagery in first stanza.
David Stavanger
Chairperson's Encouragement Awards
5-17 yrs: Orange Blood by Clara Fannjiang
This poem features very sophisticated language for one so young. There is very original imagery used throughout. This poet has real potential.
David Gagan
Open Age: Billy in a China Shop by Ruth Tuxworth
This poet would benefit from someone explaining consistent metre and accurate rhyme as the poet has some wonderful imagery and techniques of expression.
Noel Stallard
RT Edwards Mentorship Award
Winter in Ipswich by Robert Bos, Bundamba Qld
Great sense of humour present here. Particularly enjoyed the last two lines.
Graham Nunn
Effective short poem, just a little forced in some lines eg. language.
David Stavanger