Competition

What Can I Use This For?
by Brenda Joy
Charters Towers, Qld

Now when you travel round our land you very quickly learn
that not all our facilities provide for what you yearn.
To make quite sure you are equipped for what you need to do
it's best to carry your own roll of paper for the loo.

Our habits journey with us even when we leave our shore
- to me it's a necessity, not something to ignore,
for if you quit the beaten track and stray from tourist zone
you will find out there's places where loo paper's still unknown.

In back-Iock part of India before monsoonal rains,
(a region we had reached by travelling third class on trains)
arriving at a station throngs propelled us through the din
- we roused great curiosity,fair hair and pale skin.

As we'd encountered many times, a crowd soon clustered round
and we were pushed to sit inside a circle on the ground.
A welcoming lead Indian then said in tone polite,
"We would be pleased to see what's in your bag if we so might. "

Around the smiles broadened out with teeth exposed to gum
and faced with pressure so intense we just had to succumb:
Then from my bag with care extreme each item they'd remove
to wend it's way for everyone to handle and approve.

As new additions joined the ranks of treasures on display
insistent voices clamoured loud; in unison they'd say,
“And please to tell me what is this? What can I use this for?”
and even quite mundane replies would spur them even more.

The noise became a nervous shrill as items did the round,
and every anxious local strove to try what had been found.
Each combed his hair and sprayed his skin and used my plastic fork:
Each counted coins and chewed the gum; each sniffed the perfume cork.

Inevitably out it came, our only toilet roll.
Triumphantly their cries rang out it's secrets to extol -
"And please to tell me what is this? What can I use this for?"
Their queries reached a fever pitch too fervent to ignore.

While I was flound'ring to reply my man put on a show -
he took the roll, tore offa leaf and gave his nose a blow.
Elated every Indian determined to succeed
to get a leaf so that he too could emulate this deed.

The aim of each competitor - outdo the one before
in volume, act and gestures - Pandemonium! Uproar!
Realising it's replacement was three weeks away at least
all I could do was agonise as precious roll decreased.

Til all that was remaining was the cardboard tube inside
whilst waving it excitedly a frantic local cried
with flashing eyes and dripping skin in victory encore -
"And please to tell me what is this? What can I use this for?"